Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Potty Talk

Let me just apologize in advance for the grossness of this post.

I don't know what has been going on lately, but Pickle's diapers have been literally exploding. Maybe she's drinking too much before bed, but for the past three or four mornings when I go in to get her out of the crib and change her diaper, the diaper has disintegrated into an impossible slush of urine-soaked crystals.

Hey--I warned you this was gross!!

So, like, I guess the inner workings of diapers (I haven't thought much about this until this week!) are some kind of super absorbent crystalloids (I made that up) that normally contain the urine in an innocuous way--sort of swelling up and letting you know it's time for a new diaper.

But when these crystalloids are maxed out to capacity, they break free from their papery sheath and burst forth in the form of millions and millions of tiny Jell-O-like nuggets that cling to everything they come in contact with and are IMPOSSIBLE to clean up!

When I got Pickle out of her crib, the crystalloids had filled up both legs of her footsie pajamas and, in the struggle to get the pajamas and the remnants of what had once been a diaper off, had managed to cover her changing table, carpet and my just dry-cleaned sweater. They clung to poor Pickle's body defiantly--clinging on even when I put her in the tub to scrub them off.

What a freaking nightmare!!

While I was walking with my friend the other day, I was complaining about the diaper explosions and she had a story that totally trumped any diaper tales I've ever had: She said that one Christmas when her son was a toddler, she had a get-together with family and frends and, unbeknownst to the party-goers, her son's diaper was doing the overfull crystal thing.

The crystals were falling out of his pants and people were kind of seeing them around but nobody could figure out what they were or where they were coming from.

Now, because these weird things resemble something that could be interpreted as a jelly candy if you didn't know any better--they started eating them!!!!! Of course, after a confused moment or two, the reality of what they were eating set in and chaos (and probably some vomiting!) ensued. Merry Christmas, right!?! Nothing says Happy Holidays like serving your guests urine candy!

Okay--now go enjoy your breakfast!!
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38 comments:

Ronda's Rants said...

Oh YUCK!!! I have a funny diaper exploding story but I will have to seek permission from my 25 year old daughter...her usuallu comment is "You want to put this on the World Wide Web...Mom?" which means my funny story is toast! Seriously...my kids are so blogable but they keep saying "Denied!"
BTW...Did you change brands or anything?

Becky said...

What in the world! That's horrible!

I hate those jelly things. Seems like we had them worse with Tatum. They must of improved diapers thru the years.

andrea said...

haha, that was too funny!

sarah's diapers have been worse lately too! i haven't had any jelly explosions lately, but i wonder if they are holding it in longer, then when they do go, it is more so it fills the diaper? i don't know, i'm just making things up, lol!

Jen B. said...

OMG!!! That's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard! At least Pickle wasn't eating them!
Have you tried Huggies Night-Time diapers? They're made especially for night time & don't do that. Just a suggestion... don't want to see you go through that again!

Missy said...

Oh, I know the feeling. I remember many diapers of Abby & Emma exploding. And those little gel crappy things are horrible to remove from skin, clothes, etc. Good luck & hopefully it will stop soon. Great post & funny too!

oº˚ Anissa ˚ºo said...

Ok That was gross! LOL -- I have never had that problem with Aden's diapers and he pee's alot. We are trying to potty train but he just doesn't want to.

Hugs

Jo-Jo said...

Oh my! That happened to me. Cayden was walking around with those crystal like things leaking out and I had no idea where they came from! I found him eating them! Gross! And I thought it had to be something poisonous...I rushed him to the bedroom and made my stepson stay in there with them...when he screamed it is in here too! That is when I figured it out! Ha Ha. Its a bi**h to clean up though!

Jennifer said...

Oh {{gag]}- they ate them?! Yuck! lol.

Mamahut said...

Oh yeah, I remember those. I think they have super glue in them. My youngest had (has) a fettish with running naked through the house swinging his diaper...I have since moved out of that house, but I'll bet they are still plastered to the walls :)

noble pig said...

OMG I'm eating my pancakes as I read and whoa, yeah...so gross. Those jelly things make the absolute worse mess, I haven't thought about that stuff in years!

DysFUNctional Mom said...

EW! This is why we don't eat things when we don't know what they are!
Maybe she needs those overnight diapers? I dunno, it's been so long since I've had one in diapers, I'm clueless.

amelia bedelia said...

eewww. yuck. ok, you're right, that was gross but funny!

CaraBee said...

Oh my god, I'm laughing so hard! I had to call my husband over to read this because it is sooo funny. That would be the worst Christmas ever and totally trumps the year one of the toddlers at our Christmas festivities put half chewed dog biscuits inside the turkey with the stuffing while we weren't looking. We didn't find out until we had all sat down to eat and grandpa starts scooping out the stuffing and out comes a bunch of well done dog biscuits. Meanwhile, my little cousin, the villain in this story, who was 3 at the time, was laughing hysterically for hours, but wouldn't tell anyone why. Devious little sucker.

Aleta said...

OMG - That was horrible, horrible - to think people ate it. EWWWW... OK, another thing for me to remember if Greg and I ever have a child. Lol.

Susie said...

OMG!!!!!! Yuck!!! That is toooo gross!! And tooooo funny at the same time!! I think I just peed my pants!! LOL!!

Kathy said...

OMGosh you are so gross! Too funny - I could never trump that. I hope not.

LOL!

Jenni Jiggety said...

GRODY! But, I am LOL that people were eating them...

Jaime said...

That's so gross, it's funny!
ITA BTW with JenB - Huggies Overnight diapers work well for us...

Shannon said...

Oh, I remember the 1st time my oldest had one of those exploding diapers... and I could not figure out what those crystalloid thingys were!

Katie Stacey said...

I am laughing so hard right now. Mostly because just last week this happened in my house and I too had no idea what was going on until I changed my daughter's diaper and realized it had disintegrated. It was a crazy mess to clean up! Glad to hear I'm not the only one. Your blog is great, I'll be coming back!

WheresMyAngels said...

THAT was a gREAT story, oh I can't wait to tell that one. I remember all those Crystal diapers also! Never ate them though.

Queenie Jeannie said...

Oh.My.Goodness.

You totally suckered me into that one, lol!!! Yeah, wayyyy gross. The Bella (my youngest) has had those explosions too. It does make me feel better that I'm not the only one to have experienced that, and you wrote about it with 100% accuracy!

ugagirl30 said...

OMG! I have had the same experience with certain diapers and their crystalizations. I just quit using that brand of diapers.

Maggie R said...

what a horrible thing!!!!EWWWWW for sure!! and I thought these kind of diapers were the "Bee's Knee's" Gee look what i was missing VBG!!
Those kind of diapers were not invented when I raised my 4 kids!!!!..
I was a diaper pail/wash/ hang on the line kind of mamma!!! Oh My how things have changed.
xoxo
((((hugs))))
Maggie

Pink & Green Mama said...

We had the same experience. Make sure she's wearing Overnight diapers, they hold more. If she is, cut back water before bed time, my daughter keeps a water sippy cup in her crib but we can only fill it half way or else beware of the diaper crystals. The other thing that helped with our older daughter was adding diaper liners to her overnight diapers, (called diaper doublers) That solved it. Love your blog. Happy SITS day!

Mommy of M's said...

My 6 month old's diapers do the crystal thing too!! Every morning when I change him I have to pick them off of him. My oldest son's diapers never did that!!

Watercolor said...

too funny!!! okay, no eating jelly looking things at parties. um, and why were they eating things off the floor?! lol!

Mrs de Miranda said...

Congrats on your SITS day!! your family is so cute and I dont know what pinkberry is but it looks really really good!

M said...

Oh I hate that crap. But I'm pretty sure it's worth my Sal NOT saying "I want more milk" 382 times as I try to go to sleep.

Waterproof mattress covers and industrial size Tide are worth my peace of mind.

RebeccaMom said...

Ah yes, I recall my youngest and his crystalline explosive diapers. I switched diaper brands and avoided it for a little while. But I think, as you expounded, it was pure quantity that caused the explosion!

I stopped by from SITS and enjoyed your blog :) Hope you are having a great day!

namaste said...

Oh gosh!!! Thanks for the memories! My son is 8 now, but when you talk about exploding diapers, it took me right back to baby land!

WishTrish said...

NAAASSSTTYYYYY! Oh, nasty. Nasty. ick. My body is doing one of "the shakes of revulsion." You have to say that like it's the introduction to a batman cartoon. Try it again, "the shakes of revulsion!" Very sinister.

Love the pink hair, by the way. I was always partial to dying mine blue. Happy SITS day! Enjoy your giant clown painting and purring albino bunny!

Lori said...

What is it they put in the swim diapers that are different from those jelly crystals? Now I'll be wondering that all day.

Michele said...

What a beautiful family and cute blog! Happy SITS day!

Ashley. Unscripted... said...

I learned about the crystalloids the hard way when Wee One snuck a diaper into his laundry basket. Of course, I didn't realize it until AFTER the load had gone through the was and there was exploded crystalloid jelly stuff EVERYWHERE. So, so, so gross.

Kelley at My Island Wedding said...

God, I've always dreaded the idea that my kids would find those urine gel-like things and eat them too!

That's terrible! I suppose there are worse things...

Congrats on being the Blogger of the day!

Z's Mom said...

OMG.....that is HILARIOUS!!!! I can't believe they were eating something they didn't even know was food or not.

Does Pickle drink a lot before she goes to bed? I cut Z off juice at 7:30 and just give him some water after that....not a lot either. That seems to help.

Joelle said...

I LOVE your blog!!! I Just posted about you if thats ok??? Im adding you too if thats ok.... More people need to see your wonderful blog & be inspired!!!
Best Wishes ~
Joelle XO