I Miss Spiderman!

There have been a lot of beautifully written posts on the Internets recently about parental first day of school angst. I know I can't do justice to this topic as eloquently as many have, but I do want to tell you about the first day craziness over here.

This year has been an especially tough one for me because Andy started high school and Gooser started kindergarten. A double whammy!

I'm doing okay though, considering, and I do still have Pickle here which certainly helps! I was able to get Andy on the bus without crying though, but as I walked home, I had to fight down that lump in my throat and try to not let the thought four more years and he'll be in college. COLLEGE!! enter my mind. I got through it, but I am painfully aware that his time as a kid that goes off to school and is here every evening is dwindling. I know how fast four years can go by--they will rumble by in a series of first days and Halloweens and concerts and graduations and summers. And then they will be gone.

Yesterday we went over to Gooser's classroom to organize his school supplies. We had to label every. single. pencil. and. marker. Thanks Teach! But Gooser was thrilled to be in the classroom and was SO proud of his shiny new folders and, of course, his Spiderman backpack.

Last night he went to bed early. As I was tucking him in he said, giggling "Mommy tomorrow is DAY ONE of kindergarten!" He just couldn't wait!

Then, at about 11 p.m., I heard this hideous barking cough coming from his room that could only mean one thing: The Croup.

Nooooooooooo! Not on the first day of kindergarten!!

Now I am very well-trained in The Croup as every one of my kids has had it multiple times. I know the drill--steam in the shower, go out into cool night air, back to the shower. Discourage crying--that makes it so much worse. Tylenol is a good distraction.

After about two hours he was calm and still coughing, but it wasn't sounding nearly as frightening as it had earlier. So my next dilemma was--do I sent him to school or keep him home?

I HATE it when parents send sick kids to school--I never do it, I swear--but he seemed so much better this morning I decided to let him go. He still had a cough but it didn't sound croupy and he wasn't feverish or lethargic.

The morning was a frenzy of waffles and backpacks and tooth brushing--I didn't have any time to fret about my baby going to kindergarten. When we got to school there were kids and parents everywhere to distract me. When I got back home there was Pickle play time and phone calls and, of course, blogging! I was doing alright! No crying here.

But then I went up to his room and saw his Spiderman costume (the one he wears all day, every day) crumpled on the floor. Then I lost it.

My Spiderman won't be here. And I thought about all the questions he usually asks all day long (he talks a lot!) about Spiderman and Batman, dinosaurs and cavemen, butterflies and bees. All the drawings, the paper airplanes, the hugs...

Ugh. I can't write anymore. Why does it have to be so hard??