Thursday, August 14, 2008

The Story of Pickle PART FOUR

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Pickle story PART ONE

Pickle story PART TWO

Pickle story PART THREE

I sat in that chair for two days in hopes that just ONE of those seven embryos would stick. I thought this had to be it--that the extra secret vial from MicroSort was the surprise of my baby girl.

The big day of the blood test came and I waited anxiously for the results. My mind was racing with possibilities. Maybe it would even be twins?? Or triplets???

It was negative.

To me, this was the end of the line. There was no possible way I was going to do another high-tech procedure. At that point, I wouldn't have even done it for free. I was so sick of all the drugs and emotions. It was OVER.

So we started looking into adoption. China seemed like the obvious choice for us since nearly all the adoptable babies there are girls. I found an agency and we started the process.

There was a lot of paperwork! I got very organized and started gathering together birth and marriage certificates, passports and lots of photographs. We all needed to have check-ups. Don and I attended classes on adoption. We wrote letters and biographies for our "docket." A lady came to our house several times over the course of a few months to perform our "home study." We had to be fingerprinted several times.

It was a lot of work, but I was getting it done! We got the call saying our home study was complete and that we could go on to the next phase which was sending the whole packet of information to China.

And then I got pregnant. Surprise!!

I was scared to tell Don. We had done so much and come so far in the adoption process and now it was ruined. We couldn't have another baby and adopt because we would be "maxed out" on kids in the eyes of China. I was afraid to tell the adoption agency too.

I finally told Don and it didn't really go over well. He said stuff like it would certainly be a boy and this would be the last baby. Period. He was right--this would have to be it! I decided to leave the adoption agency on the back burner until I was out of the first trimester.

I went in for a doctor's appointment and first ultrasound. It didn't go too well. He couldn't find the baby's heartbeat (though it was still pretty early) and he thought the fetus looked smaller than it should. He told me to come back in a week to recheck it.

During that week, all I wanted was for the baby to be alright! I didn't care if it was a boy or a girl. I did all kinds of research on the Interwebs about gestational age and heartbeats and so on.

I went in a week later and we could see the little heart beating! Yay! The doctor still thought the baby looked a little small, but we were unsure of the dates, so it didn't seem to matter.

I tried to get myself pumped up for the idea of another boy. It was so nice to be pregnant after that ordeal of the IVFs! This baby was truly a "one hit wonder" and I knew it was meant to be!

At Thanksgiving, we made the big announcement that we were expecting another baby. A couple days later, I noticed some spotting. I told myself I must have overdone it on Thanksgiving and I just needed to take it easy, but part of me felt like something was wrong.

It was a Sunday (of course--why do emergencies always happen on Sundays?) so I decided to go to the ER to get checked.

I remember the staff kind of giving me the brush-off. Over-anxious pregnant lady wants an ultrasound. They were kind of mean and they made me wait and wait and wait.

Finally they came in to do the ultrasound. The room was completely silent. After awhile I said "Do you see the baby?" The doctor said "I see the baby but not the heartbeat." The nurse handed me the phone and a box of Kleenex.

I went to see my doctor the next day and he confirmed that the baby was gone at about ten weeks. He recommended that I have a D&C as soon as possible and scheduled me to go in the next morning. He told me he would also run some genetic testing on the baby to see what went wrong.

I won't go into all the (horrible) details of D&C day. Long story, very short--I was supposed to have it at 9 a.m. and it didn't get done until about 8 p.m.

About three weeks later the doctor called me with the results of the genetic testing. The baby had Trisomy 14 which is a bad one and "not compatible with life." Well, at least I understood now what had happened. I asked the doctor if he could tell from the tests if it was a boy or a girl.

It was a girl.

It's hard to explain what happened next. Don and I didn't really talk about the adoption or the possibility of getting pregnant again--there was just sort of this unspoken understanding.

A month later, I was pregnant again!

This time, the first ultrasound looked really good--in fact, the baby was measuring a week larger than its date. I decided to get the CVS test (which is kind of like an amnio, but you can do it much earlier) because of my age and because of the baby with the genetic problem.

The test was uncomfortable but not too bad and they told me they would have the preliminary results in 48 hours.

I was so nervous about the genetic stuff that I didn't think much about the boy or girl issue. In fact, I only thought of it as a boy.

Results day came and I was a nervous wreck. My sister was obsessively calling and asking if I had heard yet. Finally I called the office and they said they wouldn't have the results in until later in the afternoon.

My sister and I decided to go have lunch at the Cheesecake Factory because we couldn't take the stress of sitting around waiting.

Right before the cheesecake arrived, my cell phone rang. I could tell from the number it was the CVS office. My sister looked like she wanted to run away from the table!

The lady on the phone sounded upbeat. "Would you like to hear your results?" I thought if she had bad news she wouldn't be sounding so chipper. She told me that about 95% of the testing was in and the baby was perfectly healthy. What a relief!! Then she said "Do you want to know what you're having?" My sister looked terrified. "Yes," I said, steeling myself.

"It's a girl!"

I SCREAMED in the Cheesecake Factory. I mean it--I screamed at the top of my lungs "IT'S A GIRL!!!!!"

Then I started crying. And I think I hung up on the CVS lady.

And the rest is history--that baby was my Pickle.

Worth the wait??
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DEFINITELY!!!!

OMG--I just made myself cry proofreading that. Thank you for reading my saga!!

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26 comments:

Kendrawolf said...

Wow! She truly is a blessing from God! I am sorry for all the pain you went through. But I am so happy that you finally have your sweet little girl!

Shannon said...

OMG--- you just made me cry !!! I can't imagine all the highs and lows you experienced while going through all that! But, wow... you've been blessed with a special little angel :)

Ronda's Rants said...

I honestly don't know how you did it...sorry, I had to go get a tissue...crying again! You could teach classes on determination! She is beautiful...I mean all her brothers are too, so that's no surprise that she would be! What a story and I just love knowing about it...:)

leezee52 said...

I cried too! Wow!

Kori said...

I have two boys and have always wanted a girl. But I don't think I would have went through all of that. Way to go for sticking to it after all the losses. She is precious and I'm sure well worth everything.

Andrea said...

omg i'm crying too! great story jen, i'm sure when pickle is older she will love that story and knowing how much you went through to have her!

Karen said...

WOW!!! That ws some story. Gaveme the chills and a couple of tears and I don't cry very easily!!!

She really is a gift from God and worth all you had to go through !

Tricia said...

Jeez .. I'm sitting here crying too! That's a truely amazing story with a WONDERFUL ending (or really beginning)!

Z's Mom said...

Wow! What a story! She is soooo beautiful....and TOTALLY worth the wait I'm sure!!!

Kori said...

This does not appear to be the kind of blog I can swear on, so all I can say to this is that it is fan*%*$ing tastic. What a great sotry, all of the parts of it.

Jennifer said...

Thank you so much Everybody!

And, Kori--you can swear if you want to!

Lori said...

When you have that first ultrasound and they can't find the heartbeat it's horrible. But when they've seen a heartbeat before and the next time it's gone, it's completely devastating.

Congratulations on your wonderful, fabulous family! Ya'll are like a big boy-loaded sundae and Pickle is the cherry on top!

noble pig said...

OMg you went through so much I can't even believe that. That is a true saga and I'm so happy for you! She is so precious and kudos to your hubby for going through all that most guys wouldn't.

Jen/michmomma said...

Jen- I'm all choked up right now. What a journey- with the best kind of happy ending. Thank you for sharing Miss Pickles story with us. :)

Sprite's Keeper said...

I feel like I've just been on an emotional roller coaster! Congratulations! She's perfect.

Kelly said...

I have the chills!!!! What an ordeal!!! I am going to repeat my comment from yesterday, What a gift Pickle has; she can read about how she came to be and how much you wanted her so badly!!!

forgetfulone said...

It was meant to be! Your story just about made me cry. All that hope and heartache along the way, only to have technology fail and nature take over. Talk about roller coaster rides! I have thoroughly enjoyed reading about how Pickle came to be.

Tami said...

OMG JEN!!! Pickle is definetly a blessing!!! I am sitting here crying as I am hugging Micaela. I have to agree, she was worth the wait.

JS Hess said...

Wow! What an amazing story- all of it. Thanks for sharing. What an emotional roller coaster! Love it!

DYSFUNCTIONAL MOM said...

I was SO happy to see the final installment of the Pickle Story in my reader!
And what a great story it is. I'm sorry you went through so much heartbreak, but so happy you got a healthy baby girl!
Congrats!

♥Anissa♥ said...

So glad everything worked out for you -- she has such a special mom. Now tag your it -- please go to my blog and pick up the rules.

justjuli said...

Thanks for sharing the story - I was getting so heartbroken for you. Truly.

And what an adorable happy ending you have!

thotlady said...

Amazing. Worth the wait I am sure.

Dee said...

what a rollercoaster you went on.... an amazing story, thankfully with a beautiful outcome. Thanks for recounting it.

Margaret said...

Oh my gosh, I cried when I read your story!!! I still have goosebumps! :) I had a miscarriage when my son was 13 months old and then got pregnant 2 weeks later with my sweet, beautiful, perfect baby girl!! :) God works in mysterious ways!!

Nikki said...

That made me cry!! Wow! What a journey.

I understand completely. My only daughter is my oldest. I also have 2 boys.I love my boys dearly but my daughter is my best friend. I love her so,so much!

I do love that idea of another little girl in the house. My big girl is almost 9 and I miss having one I can dress up : )We were about to get working on #4 but medical problems this year have stopped that.

I really enjoyed reading that.
You are truly one of my new favorite blogs Jen!