Pickle story PART ONE
Pickle story PART TWO
Pickle story PART THREE
I sat in that chair for two days in hopes that just ONE of those seven embryos would stick. I thought this had to be it--that the extra secret vial from MicroSort was the surprise of my baby girl.
The big day of the blood test came and I waited anxiously for the results. My mind was racing with possibilities. Maybe it would even be twins?? Or triplets???
It was negative.
To me, this was the end of the line. There was no possible way I was going to do another high-tech procedure. At that point, I wouldn't have even done it for free. I was so sick of all the drugs and emotions. It was OVER.
So we started looking into adoption. China seemed like the obvious choice for us since nearly all the adoptable babies there are girls. I found an agency and we started the process.
There was a lot of paperwork! I got very organized and started gathering together birth and marriage certificates, passports and lots of photographs. We all needed to have check-ups. Don and I attended classes on adoption. We wrote letters and biographies for our "docket." A lady came to our house several times over the course of a few months to perform our "home study." We had to be fingerprinted several times.
It was a lot of work, but I was getting it done! We got the call saying our home study was complete and that we could go on to the next phase which was sending the whole packet of information to China.
And then I got pregnant. Surprise!!
I was scared to tell Don. We had done so much and come so far in the adoption process and now it was ruined. We couldn't have another baby and adopt because we would be "maxed out" on kids in the eyes of China. I was afraid to tell the adoption agency too.
I finally told Don and it didn't really go over well. He said stuff like it would certainly be a boy and this would be the last baby. Period. He was right--this would have to be it! I decided to leave the adoption agency on the back burner until I was out of the first trimester.
I went in for a doctor's appointment and first ultrasound. It didn't go too well. He couldn't find the baby's heartbeat (though it was still pretty early) and he thought the fetus looked smaller than it should. He told me to come back in a week to recheck it.
During that week, all I wanted was for the baby to be alright! I didn't care if it was a boy or a girl. I did all kinds of research on the Interwebs about gestational age and heartbeats and so on.
I went in a week later and we could see the little heart beating! Yay! The doctor still thought the baby looked a little small, but we were unsure of the dates, so it didn't seem to matter.
I tried to get myself pumped up for the idea of another boy. It was so nice to be pregnant after that ordeal of the IVFs! This baby was truly a "one hit wonder" and I knew it was meant to be!
At Thanksgiving, we made the big announcement that we were expecting another baby. A couple days later, I noticed some spotting. I told myself I must have overdone it on Thanksgiving and I just needed to take it easy, but part of me felt like something was wrong.
It was a Sunday (of course--why do emergencies always happen on Sundays?) so I decided to go to the ER to get checked.
I remember the staff kind of giving me the brush-off. Over-anxious pregnant lady wants an ultrasound. They were kind of mean and they made me wait and wait and wait.
Finally they came in to do the ultrasound. The room was completely silent. After awhile I said "Do you see the baby?" The doctor said "I see the baby but not the heartbeat." The nurse handed me the phone and a box of Kleenex.
I went to see my doctor the next day and he confirmed that the baby was gone at about ten weeks. He recommended that I have a D&C as soon as possible and scheduled me to go in the next morning. He told me he would also run some genetic testing on the baby to see what went wrong.
I won't go into all the (horrible) details of D&C day. Long story, very short--I was supposed to have it at 9 a.m. and it didn't get done until about 8 p.m.
About three weeks later the doctor called me with the results of the genetic testing. The baby had Trisomy 14 which is a bad one and "not compatible with life." Well, at least I understood now what had happened. I asked the doctor if he could tell from the tests if it was a boy or a girl.
It was a girl.
It's hard to explain what happened next. Don and I didn't really talk about the adoption or the possibility of getting pregnant again--there was just sort of this unspoken understanding.
A month later, I was pregnant again!
This time, the first ultrasound looked really good--in fact, the baby was measuring a week larger than its date. I decided to get the CVS test (which is kind of like an amnio, but you can do it much earlier) because of my age and because of the baby with the genetic problem.
The test was uncomfortable but not too bad and they told me they would have the preliminary results in 48 hours.
I was so nervous about the genetic stuff that I didn't think much about the boy or girl issue. In fact, I only thought of it as a boy.
Results day came and I was a nervous wreck. My sister was obsessively calling and asking if I had heard yet. Finally I called the office and they said they wouldn't have the results in until later in the afternoon.
My sister and I decided to go have lunch at the Cheesecake Factory because we couldn't take the stress of sitting around waiting.
Right before the cheesecake arrived, my cell phone rang. I could tell from the number it was the CVS office. My sister looked like she wanted to run away from the table!
The lady on the phone sounded upbeat. "Would you like to hear your results?" I thought if she had bad news she wouldn't be sounding so chipper. She told me that about 95% of the testing was in and the baby was perfectly healthy. What a relief!! Then she said "Do you want to know what you're having?" My sister looked terrified. "Yes," I said, steeling myself.
"It's a girl!"
I SCREAMED in the Cheesecake Factory. I mean it--I screamed at the top of my lungs "IT'S A GIRL!!!!!"
Then I started crying. And I think I hung up on the CVS lady.
And the rest is history--that baby was my Pickle.
Worth the wait??
OMG--I just made myself cry proofreading that. Thank you for reading my saga!!