I Fly Through the Air With the Greatest of Ease...

Point blank: I was on a trapeze yesterday. A real trapeze, like in the circus! With ropes and pulleys and nets and REALLY tall ladders!

I mean, like this:

That's me!! And you know what's even braver than going up on that crazy thing? Me posting this pic on the Internets--I can't believe how freaking fat I look in these trapeze pics! The combination of the angle and the thick tightly-cinched belt = NOT good! But there ya go--me at my most vulnerable--belted and swinging high in the sky!

So this is how it went down: I was driving home after running some errands and I noticed this huge trapeze set-up in the park with signs about trapeze lessons. The kids would love this I thought, so I went home to get them.

Turns out, you could sign up for classes of just do a test "flight" or whatever you call it in trapeze-talk (trapeze-eze hee hee!). Teddy and Patrick wanted to do it and, for reasons I'm still not clear on, I said I did too. Then I paid for it and there was no turning back.

Andy and Gooser had zero interest in doing it--but they had a cute mini trapeze and trampoline for little kids and Gooser was happy to play on that. I like this pic of Gooser--look how his hair is bouncing! Also: Gooser dressed himself yesterday. He came downstairs and said "Look Mommy! I put on a striped shirt and striped pants" LOL!
So the first thing they did was strap on these most unflattering belts. They have you raise your arms and suck in your gut so they can cinch them as tight as humanly possible. I cannot stress how ugly this was on me. Then we got a brief lesson in what to do once we were holding onto the trapeze.

By the way, I was the ONLY adult doing this! So I lined up with the kids and we went in order of size--smallest to tallest.

Patrick went first. He has no fear and didn't hesitate.
Teddy started freaking and tried to back out, but he got his nerve up and really had fun!
Then it was my turn. Gulp! I put this white chalky stuff on my hands and climbed this narrow ladder that was--no exaggeration--30-40 feet high! I can't even climb a six foot ladder to change a light bulb! What was I thinking?

Here I am on the ladder and this is the last pic I can show--they're just too ugly!
The ladder-climbing was SCARY!! Especially at the very top because you had to climb onto this tiny platform that was wobbling in the wind.

Then the other really scary part was standing on the edge of the platform and leaning straight out while a guy held onto my belt. So, like, leaning out over the edge, straight-backed--it was just like one of those "trust" exercises.

Then another guy pulled the trapeze in so I could grab on and the belt-holding guy said he was going to count to three and then I was supposed to jump off the platform.

Can you believe this?

So I start swinging through the air while a guy on the ground shouted stuff like "feet forward, feet back."

I can't say I enjoyed it. See, I'm one of those types that can't go on amusement park rides--not because I'm scared, but because I'm so susceptible to motion sickness and dizziness.

I felt really dizzy the whole time and I was relieved when the guy said "When I count three you're going to let go."

I was happy to let go! Then there was a controlled fall (because of the ropes) down to the net. Then I had to crawl across the net and somersault off the side and down to the ground. Don't forget I'm wearing that awful belt--talk about humiliating. And--wow--my arms were (still are!) SO sore! Quite a workout!!

But at least I can say I did it! I can cross "Flying on a Trapeze" off my "Bucket List." Oh wait, that wasn't on my bucket list. So I'm officially adding and crossing off trapeze flying to my bucket list!

Speaking of circus-related things--I won a contest! A contest on My Semblance of Sanity about how our lives compared to a circus and which role we play in our "family circus." Michelle said my answer made her laugh the hardest *blush* and I won this terrific picture book called "Sidewalk Circus." Thank you Michelle! And very appropriate, don't you think, given my recent circus shenanigans!?!