Birds and Scorpions

Just a little something I wanted to show you...Remember during the summer when I bought that "potato basket" from an art gallery? It looked like this:So I got all artsy on in and covered it with a bunch of feathery birds I happened to have around. Are we liking? Not liking?

Edited to add one more pic of the birds:

I ran out of birds but I think I'll get more and cover the whole thing. I think it would look coolest hanging on the wall--which we don't have room for now. Maybe if we ever get that real estate deal done?? We are still totally in limbo on that by the way.

In other news, Patrick got a lollipop with a REAL scorpion inside!

The ingredients were like sugar, artificial flavoring, scorpion.

Ewww!

But he ate it!
The whole thing--tail and all! I don't know if I would have the guts to eat that--and I like weird food! Would you?

ALSO!! A Wii and Wii Fit Giveaway on Le Petite Chic !!!! I want it!!!

More!! Another giveaway! For these beautiful boots on Classt Chaos:

Check it out here!

Shoe Shopping Horror!

This brisk fall weather reminds me of a time right about a year ago--Pickle was getting close to walking and it was time to check out some of those adorable little baby shoes.

I headed over to Nordstrom to browse their amazing selection of children's shoes. So many choices! The cute liitle Robeez with flowers and kitties on them and the even cuter Pedipeds--just beautiful! Tiny shoes with leopard print or red patent leather. I was picturing some of Pickle's dresses and deciding which shoes to buy.

I was holding a pair of little black velvet Mary Janes when I sensed someone was looking at me. I glanced up and saw group of four or five Nordstrom employees huddled together across the room and staring at me.

They also looked panic-stricken.

I looked confused and one of then said to me in a voice that was trying to remain calm but had a distinct undercurrent of fear "Um--there's a squirrel right behind you."

What?

It took a few seconds for my brain to process everything.

Nordstrom...shoes...squirrel?

SQUIRREL!?!

Now, you know I love animals, but squirrels have always FREAKED ME OUT! I'm scared of squirrels. They're all crazy-like with their darting and scampering. And those big quivery tails

One time a squirrel got into my house. I'll save that story for another post--but it involved the police department and some mops.

So I'm standing there in the Nordstrom's children's shoe department frozen with fear. Then I had visions of the squirrel jumping into my hair--or worse--into the stroller with my sleeping baby.

The Pedipeds fell from my fingers and I high-tailed it across the room to join the huddle.

The scene that followed was right out of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation--people running and screaming, the squirrel skittering under chairs and shoe racks. I half-expected to see the grandpa from Christmas Vacation screaming SQUIIIIIIIIRREL as it it clung to someone's back.

We all watched in horror as the squirrel ran out of the shoe department over to scarves, then back to shoes, then into home furnishings. Some brave souls had a plan to set up a human blockade that trapped the squirrel as others chased it out the door.

And then it was gone.

I retrieved my velvet Pedipeds and paid for them while I joked with my new comrades. "Wow! That was crazy!" we all agreed.

But I've never really enjoyed shoe shopping as much since then... I feel, well, squirrely!
****Check it out****My friend Andrea is having a great giveaway on her blog. She makes beautiful photo cards (she'll be making my Christmas cards!) and will be giving away a free design and is also offering discounts to anyone that comments. Her cards are GORGEOUS!!

Patrick's Birthday Bash!

Patrick turned eleven today--or technically yesterday--because I write my posts the night before.

He said it was his "best birthday ever" which always warms the heart--especially because this one was pretty low-key compared to some of the over-the-top extravaganzas we've had in the past.

On Sunday night (night before his bday) we went to one of those Japanese restaurants where they cook at the table. We used to go here fairly frequently until Pickle had a major freakout when they set the shrimp on fire. She was just a little baby--but there was a fiery explosion at our table and when I faced her in another direction after she freaked, another explosion at the next table--and she couldn't recover. Don and I spent the whole dinner trading places with her in the lobby as she sobbed.

But we ventured back for Patrick's birthday dinner and she was fine. She wasn't crazy about the shrimp fire, but she kept it together.

Safe with mommy--but keeping an eye on that fire!

Pickle loves soup!
Here are the boys in the booth. Teddy was tryng to ruin the picture on purpose!
Then today I brought Dunkin Donuts over to school for Patrick's treat--that was a big hit! And after school I set up a secret surprise for him--a chocolate fountain! My sister gave it to me for Christmas but I hadn't used it yet and thought that Patrick's big day would be the perfect excuse to break it in.

Of course, things didn't go as smoothly as I had hoped. I read the instructions for the fountain and there were two ways of putting the chocolate in-- "warm or cold." I interpreted that as meaning either you could pre-melt it or melt it in the fountain thing. I chose the latter as I figured I could skip the melting step.

So, so wrong.

I knew something was amiss when I turned the motor on and it sounded like an old car with a bad muffler. This just couldn't be right!?!

I guess I had missed the part of the instructions that read under no circumstances use anything other than melted chocolate. Make certain there are no lumps.

No lumps? The whole thing was lumps!

So I had to spoon it all out of the fountain (fun!)--all the while getting panicky that my perfectly-timed birthday presentation was ruined and that Patrick would come home--not to a delicious treat--but to a crying mother covered in chocolate and a broken piece of machinery.

Luckily, it didn't break and I was able to get the molten brownstuff flowing freely.

Next glitch: the marshmallows.

I had JUST bought a bag of marshmallows only to find, upon opening the bag, that they had somehow melted and fused into one big horrible sticky marshmallow. I tried to salvage a few but then gave up in disgust.

Look at this mess!!
Despite my plans being foiled right and left--I managed to pull off my chocolate-covered surprise!! Here you can see the fountain in action, strawberries, pound cake, pretzels and the disgusting marshmallows. Also, that balloon in the pic sings Happy Birthday every time it is jostled. I told Patrick that if he hears screaming later followed by a loud pop--it's me stabbing the balloon with a knife!

Anyway, he LOVED his surprise! Here's Patrick with Andy (that chocolate may NEVER come out of his braces!).
Close-up of the fountain!
Dr. Hoppy with the fountain:
Chocolate-covered Pickle!
Then he opened his presents and loved every one. One of his very favorites was seeds to grow the World's Hottest Chili Pepper--apparently they are "a million times hotter than a jalapeno." Yikes! Then we had pizza.

Happy Birthday Patrick!!
Oh, the Barney hats were from a long ago party--the kids thought they were funny!

Dear Disgruntled Target Employee,

I could see your contempt for me and my overflowing cart the moment I darkened your check-out aisle. You offered no pleasantries, just a scowl and a roll of the eyes.

Pardon me, Target Guy, but isn't the whole goal of Target to lure people in under the guise of "just buying diapers" but then, $400 later, your cart is brimming with items you never thought you needed when you entered the store, but just HAD to have the second you spotted them?

I'm pretty sure there are brain wave-altering signals being emitted throughout your stores. Silent signals that change your logical diaper-buying mind into an out-of-control impulse shopper.

No, I never knew I needed the faux mother-of-pearl-handled silverware (enough for 14 people!) until I saw it and someone turned the brain control lasers on me. I also never would have suspected I needed that giant blue glass bowl or turquoise platter. In fact, I didn't realize I was going to completely redo the theme and color of my Thanksgiving table until I entered the store.

So really, Target Guy, I could do without the attitude!

I could tell you hated the sight of the silverware heading toward you on the conveyor belt. "How many?" you snarled.

"Well," I said cheerfully, "fourteen each of spoons, knives and forks."

"HOW MANY?" you snarled again.

This time I wasn't as cheerful. "Fourteen times three," I snipped.

Target Guy, please don't ask me to do math--it's not my strong suit in the first place and to do it while I'm unloading my overfull cart and trying to calm a two year old really just isn't possible.

Speaking of the two year old--I know she was crying--but she wanted her little doll back and she didn't understand what "Just wait one more second until he scans it" means. You see, Target Guy--that meant I needed you to scan it right away so I could give it back to her. Did you notice that she stopped crying when you finally scanned the doll!?!

You may have also noticed that my hand was bleeding in two places. That was because this glass bell jar thing (that I didn't realize I needed until I saw it) started to slip out of my precarious cart and, in saving it, I managed to slice my hand twice.

Oh--one more thing Target Guy--when you rushed me out of your aisle by waving the receipt in my face while I was still struggling to wrangle the stuff into the cart, I hit my shin really hard with the oversized Tupperware wrapping paper container that I didn't realize I needed and now I have a giant bruise.

So, bloodied and bruised, I limped out of your Target--but you know what hurts more, Target Guy? My feelings--because you were just mean!

Your disgruntled customer,

Jennifer

P.S. Rod Stewart called--he wants his hair back!

Emergency Mission!

iPhoning this in...

We were minding our own business on Saturday morning--making bacon for Pickle--when I got a call from our security company saying that an alarm was sounding at or vacation house. They summoned the police department to check out the situation, bit things turned onto something of a comedy of errors and we ended up throwing a makeshift suitcase, the kids and the dogs I to the car and hightailing it up here--about a two hour drive.

The good news is that everything I'd okay--we think the wind was so violent that it shook one of the doors so much it set the alarm off. So we have an unexpected getaway!!

The other good news is that I got to cancel my scheduled dental appointment and I stead we're out having dinner and I'm enjoying a strawberry margarita! Wheeeeeee!

Happy Sunday!!

Pickle's Scavenger Hunt!

I don't know why--but one of Pickle's favorite pass times is walking around the house with a bag and filling it with random things.

She's a bag baby!!

The other day she absconded with Teddy's lunch bag and this is what I found amongst the sandwich and chips:


An airplane:
An assortment of Legos and pom-poms:

A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich:
A mini Etch-A-Sketch:
And the new Buckcherry* CD (unopened--I need to listen to that!):
Totally shades of Steve Martin in The Jerk, right!?

*Speaking of Buckcherry--their album "15" is a great album that has one of the raunchiest songs I've ever heard--but with the catchiest tune. I'm so afraid I'm going to start singing it in front of the kids and that would NOT be good!

Punchy Pickle!

Pickle was totally punchy this evening due to a severe case of nap lackage. First she had a crying fit then she just started acting crazy in the form of trying on any piece of clothing she found and dancing around.

She put on her skull scarf:

A pair of her brother's boxer shorts! Then boxers with a pair of my shoes:
And finally the boxers ended up over her head!
What a party animal!!

Please join Candid Carrie for some Phriday Foto Phun!!

You Know What's Embarrassing...?

Well, hold on--before I tell you, I want to sent a HUGE thank you out to Heather and Tiffany of SITS for being such geniuses and thinking up the great idea that is SITS and also to all the AMAZING ladies who stopped by my blog and commented yesterday. It was so much fun--I didn't want it to end!! Thanks again Everybody--SO much!! I will be making the rounds to all of your blogs--it might take a few days to get to everybody though!

Okay--for full impact of my humiliation--listen to this as you read:


Do you know what's embarrassing?

Calling one of the moms (that I hardly know) from Gooser's kindergarten class from my cell phone while in the car and leaving a message (RSVPing for a party!).

But not realizing that I didn't push the "end call" button correctly.

Then cranking up Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust."

Then singing along--LOUDLY--practically channeling Freddie Mercury.

Then noticing the "end call" button is still on the iPhone's screen and realizing that the whole ugly episode has been recorded on the mom's voicemail.

Then gasping and ending the call.

Yeah...that's embarrassing.

Now please excuse me while I pack up my family and move to another city--I just can't face her at kindergarten drop-off tomorrow!!

Party On My Blog! Party On My Blog!

Sing along with me:

We gonna party cuz it's my SITS day!
Gonna sip Bacardi cuz it's my SITS day!

WoooooooHoooooooooooo!

Can you tell I'm excited? Can you? CAN YOU?? Oh, I've been waiting for this day!! A BIG thank you to Heather and Tiffany--the masterminds behind SITS. And welcome SITStas!!!!!!

Please allow me to introduce myself (okay, now I have that song and the 50 Cent song stuck in my head...). I am Jennifer, mom to four boys (ages 14-5) and a bacon-addicted two year old girl.
Proof of her addiction can be found here and here.

We like to go on lots of family adventures--here's one from our summer vacation and here's one when we took trapeze lessons! We also like to go on restaurant adventures, like this one.

We have approximately ten million pets. Our newest one is featured here. And here are some humiliating pictures of my dogs in costumes.

I enjoy knitting, watercolor painting and glassblowing. As you can see from my header, I also like Kreepy Klowns. Oh, and Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance is my boyfriend...in my mind anyway! I'm also addicted to Pinkberry. That's an awful lot of linkage!! Please enjoy yourselves and have a look around! I'm looking forward to wallowing in your comment love!

Thanks so much for stopping by!!!

Potty Talk

Let me just apologize in advance for the grossness of this post.

I don't know what has been going on lately, but Pickle's diapers have been literally exploding. Maybe she's drinking too much before bed, but for the past three or four mornings when I go in to get her out of the crib and change her diaper, the diaper has disintegrated into an impossible slush of urine-soaked crystals.

Hey--I warned you this was gross!!

So, like, I guess the inner workings of diapers (I haven't thought much about this until this week!) are some kind of super absorbent crystalloids (I made that up) that normally contain the urine in an innocuous way--sort of swelling up and letting you know it's time for a new diaper.

But when these crystalloids are maxed out to capacity, they break free from their papery sheath and burst forth in the form of millions and millions of tiny Jell-O-like nuggets that cling to everything they come in contact with and are IMPOSSIBLE to clean up!

When I got Pickle out of her crib, the crystalloids had filled up both legs of her footsie pajamas and, in the struggle to get the pajamas and the remnants of what had once been a diaper off, had managed to cover her changing table, carpet and my just dry-cleaned sweater. They clung to poor Pickle's body defiantly--clinging on even when I put her in the tub to scrub them off.

What a freaking nightmare!!

While I was walking with my friend the other day, I was complaining about the diaper explosions and she had a story that totally trumped any diaper tales I've ever had: She said that one Christmas when her son was a toddler, she had a get-together with family and frends and, unbeknownst to the party-goers, her son's diaper was doing the overfull crystal thing.

The crystals were falling out of his pants and people were kind of seeing them around but nobody could figure out what they were or where they were coming from.

Now, because these weird things resemble something that could be interpreted as a jelly candy if you didn't know any better--they started eating them!!!!! Of course, after a confused moment or two, the reality of what they were eating set in and chaos (and probably some vomiting!) ensued. Merry Christmas, right!?! Nothing says Happy Holidays like serving your guests urine candy!

Okay--now go enjoy your breakfast!!