I don't know what has been going on lately, but Pickle's diapers have been literally exploding. Maybe she's drinking too much before bed, but for the past three or four mornings when I go in to get her out of the crib and change her diaper, the diaper has disintegrated into an impossible slush of urine-soaked crystals.
Hey--I warned you this was gross!!
So, like, I guess the inner workings of diapers (I haven't thought much about this until this week!) are some kind of super absorbent crystalloids (I made that up) that normally contain the urine in an innocuous way--sort of swelling up and letting you know it's time for a new diaper.
But when these crystalloids are maxed out to capacity, they break free from their papery sheath and burst forth in the form of millions and millions of tiny Jell-O-like nuggets that cling to everything they come in contact with and are IMPOSSIBLE to clean up!
When I got Pickle out of her crib, the crystalloids had filled up both legs of her footsie pajamas and, in the struggle to get the pajamas and the remnants of what had once been a diaper off, had managed to cover her changing table, carpet and my just dry-cleaned sweater. They clung to poor Pickle's body defiantly--clinging on even when I put her in the tub to scrub them off.
What a freaking nightmare!!
While I was walking with my friend the other day, I was complaining about the diaper explosions and she had a story that totally trumped any diaper tales I've ever had: She said that one Christmas when her son was a toddler, she had a get-together with family and frends and, unbeknownst to the party-goers, her son's diaper was doing the overfull crystal thing.
The crystals were falling out of his pants and people were kind of seeing them around but nobody could figure out what they were or where they were coming from.
Now, because these weird things resemble something that could be interpreted as a jelly candy if you didn't know any better--they started eating them!!!!! Of course, after a confused moment or two, the reality of what they were eating set in and chaos (and probably some vomiting!) ensued. Merry Christmas, right!?! Nothing says Happy Holidays like serving your guests urine candy!
Okay--now go enjoy your breakfast!!
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