Tuesday, December 23, 2008

My Least Favorite Christmas Songs

I wrote a post awhile back about my favorite Christmas songs, but after several week of 24/7 Christmas music, as well as feeling slightly hormonal lately, I've been thinking about the songs I don't like. Here is my hit list:

1. Anything by Gloria Estefan--but in particular that hideous rendition of Let It Snow. When that comes on (which, unfortunately, is way too often) I can't lunge to change the radio station fast enough.

2. Little Drummer Boy. This has to be one of the most depressing songs of all time. With that slow monotonous chanting beat--it sounds like a funeral dirge. Why does it have to sound like that Little Drummer is marching to his death?

3. Last Christmas by George Michael. Or is it Wham? Either way, it's like nails on a chalkboard to me. And it doesn't feel Christmasy in the least.

4. Step into Christmas by Elton John. Now I love Elton in general--but I detest this song! It's so bubblegum and stupid.

5. I think we're all in "agreeance" that Christmas Shoes might be the worst Christmas song ever. I've read several rants on the Internets complaining about its maudlin content. It attempts to pull out every low-blow mawkish image imaginable: unkempt little boy fidgeting in line at the store, mother dying on Christmas, doesn't have enough money to buy new shoes for said mother so she can look good when she "meets Jesus." Then, just when you think it can't get any worse, a choir of children join in song.

Then there's the absurdity of the whole thing--who would buy a pair of shoes for someone on their deathbed? Maybe a blanket or a comfortable pillow, but shoes? Note to my children: If I'm on my deathbed, please don't buy me a pair of shoes. How about slipper-socks? Or better yet--just keep your money--I won't really be needing anything!

So there you have my top five--oh and by the way--I LIKE Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer and I haven't heard it one single time this season! I also like Dominic the Donkey--sue me!!

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20 comments:

CaraBee said...

I'm totally with you on all of those! We were listening to our local holiday station yesterday when that Christmas Shoes song came on. My husband must have said "worst. song. ever." about 10 times. Couldn't agree more.

mannequin said...

Sadly, I must agree with you on the Elton. Like you, I normally love anything that involves his gorgeously harmonic voice but this one? Well, somebody must have MADE him do it.

Jessica said...

LOL-this post made me laugh. :) My husband and I have been making fun of that George Michael song for the past week. Somehow it got on a play list he made, of Christmas songs. We decided to keep it on there for laughs.

Erin, Nick and Merrick said...

I heard Grandma for the 1st time this season yesterday......
LOVE IT!

Susie said...

I had never heard Dominic the Donkey until I listened to it on a fellow bloggers site. It is hilarious!!!

Debbie said...

I would agree with all of these. And that Elton one gets on my nerves so much. The Shoes song is the worst thing in the world. Whoever wrote that should be flogged by some mistletoe.

MBB Founder and Editor Denene Millner said...

My God, you're a nut!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!! And what's wrong with Gloria Estefan?!!!

Jennifer said...

I've never heard of Dominic the Donkey- I'll have to go listen to it.

Are the kids getting excited for Christmas??? It's almost here! =)

Jennifer said...

I don't know Denene--I have it in for Gloria!!

Becky said...

I have always wondered about that dumb shoe song, and why my heartstrings were immune to it. But you are right. It is FREAKIN stupid.
You are not going to be wearing any earthly shoes when you go to heaven! Go buy that poor mama some vicodin or something.

Heather said...

LOL You know how I feel about the Christmas shoes..... I also like Grandma (in small doses) and Dominic! :D

breelyn_faith said...

LOL!! I haven't listened to any of the Christmas songs this year. I have tuned them out some how. And I will agree...the little drummer boy will put you in some kind a weird depressing trance.

Argentum Vulgaris said...

They are all in the once once a year category, anymore is over exposure...

Have a nice Christmas everyone.

AV
http://netherregionoftheearthii.blogspot.com/
http://tomusarcanum.blogspot.com/
http://thingsthatfizz.blogspot.com/

Jen said...

Grandma got run over by a reindeer is an awesome song. I so need to hear it.

JANE said...

OK I'm ROFL!! I too love Elton, but please..... just how many drugs was he taking that day!!
Now, my oldest is singing background on Casting Crowns "I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day" so I better not hear that one on your list!!! LOL!
P.S. LOVE your new pic! They always crack me up!!

noble pig said...

I haven't heard some of those and now I have to...but yes Little Drummer Boy is so depressing it's sick.

Z's Mom said...

I like Last Christmas....but I'm so with you on all the rest!

I like the Hippo song too! Its cheesy and I love it! I can't say as I'm heard Dominic the Donkey...

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I'm with you on the Christmas Shoes song. From the first time I heard it, I thought, how totally strange and morbid. Have you heard "I want a hippopotamus for Christmas"? That's one of those that you either love or hate. I love it!

Brenda Jean said...

I'm SO with you on those songs--- the shoe one is the worst though. I had forgotten about it til you reminded me. Thanks. I'm tramatized now, on Cmas Eve no less. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAA Does Gerard have a Cmas song? Man, he ought to. Have you seen the new website with their cool blogs? Aren't they neat? Okay, enough of my nerdiness. Merry Cmas!

Jen B. said...

LOVE Grandma got Runover.... it's our favorite.
I have to agree with your list totally!